You may have heard the saying that spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better. Everyone complains at some point in life, at least a little. According to experts, those who live in a state of complaining, actually do something called “ruminating”. This means that they think and complain about a problem again and again. Instead of feeling a release after complaining, it makes them feel worse.
When you indulge in this kind of complaining, it rewires your brain and makes future complaining more likely. It happens to the extent that you find it easier to be negative than to be positive and it becomes your default behavior. It builds anxiety, and stress in your body as complaining sits nicely in your subconscious triggering its effect at any time.
It changes how you perceive people and shrinks that area of your brain that is important for problem-solving and developing intelligent thoughts.
For getting rid of the habit of complaining, you must shift your attention to something you are grateful for. When you feel tempted to complain, think of the things that make your life better. Cultivate the attitude of gratitude and include these habits in your daily life. The other thing you can do to get rid of the complaining is to engage in solution-oriented complaining. This means you should complain for a purpose.
The solution-oriented complaining can be done in the following manner. This will also reduce stress and anxiety and most importantly, it won’t damage your brain.
1. Know what you are looking at :
When you think of complaining, you must have a clear purpose in mind. You should know the outcome you are looking for but if it is not easily possible to identify a purpose, then surely it is not the kind of complaining that you should be doing.
2. Begin with a positive attitude:
It does seem strange when you think of starting a complaint with a positive attitude. But it will help to keep the other person from getting defensive. For example, if you want to complain regarding poor service, then begin by saying that you have been a customer for many years and have always liked the service but there is something that does not seem good to you.
3. Just address the issue:
While complaining, you should not drag every minor detail into the discussion. It is always best to stay focused on the current situation and stay specific about it. For example, if you want to complain about someone’s behavior, be specific about the way you were treated and felt offended.
4. End your complaint with something positive:
You have to be very careful while ending your complaint with the other person. If you don’t have a clear purpose for what you are complaining about, the other person usually does not feel motivated to take any action. Instead, if you restate your actual purpose and hope that the desired result will be achieved, it will encourage the person to act in a better way.
Via: The Globe And Mail