Huma Siraj
Ever felt like you’re doing everything right at work but still not getting noticed?
According to Melody Wilding, executive coach, professor, and author of Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge, the issue may not be your performance; it’s how you manage your boss.
Wilding, who has coached professionals at Google, Amazon, and other Fortune 500 companies, says that “many workplace frustrations from feeling overlooked to struggling with office politics often boil down to one thing: people don’t know how to manage up.”
But “Managing Up” isn’t about flattery or submission. As Wilding defines it, it’s about “strategically navigating relationships with those who have more positional power than you.”
Her insights combine lessons from psychology, emotional intelligence, and years of experience helping professionals transform their careers.
Why Managing Up Matters
Managing up is not manipulation; it’s communication. It means understanding your boss’s goals, challenges, and communication style, then aligning your work in a way that makes both of you succeed.
Wilding’s book teaches practical strategies that help employees:
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Handle difficult or controlling managers
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Set healthy boundaries
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Give feedback upward effectively
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Build influence and visibility
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Position themselves for promotions and pay raises
In short, it’s about being empowered, not just “getting by.”
10 Essential Conversations That Can Transform Your Career
Wilding organizes Managing Up around ten key conversations every professional should master.
Each one is a tool to build trust, influence, and respect at work.
No 1. The Alignment Conversation
Understand how your role fits into the bigger picture.
Agree with your manager on what success looks like and focus on work that is both meaningful and visible.
No 2. The Styles Conversation
Decode your boss’s communication habits and express your own needs confidently and respectfully.
No 3. The Ownership Conversation
Move beyond following orders. Learn to identify problems, propose solutions, and take initiative that earns buy-in from leadership.
No 4. The Boundaries Conversation
Say “no” without damaging your reputation. Wilding teaches how to protect your time while still being seen as a team player.
No 5. The Feedback Conversation
Give constructive feedback upward and handle criticism or inappropriate remarks professionally and assertively.
No 6. The Networking Conversation
Build influence beyond your immediate boss. Cultivate relationships with decision-makers across your organization without feeling fake or pushy.
No 7. The Visibility Conversation
Make sure your hard work is seen. Learn how to talk about your achievements, get credit where it’s due, and attract new opportunities.
No 8. The Progression Conversation
Prepare for career growth. Align your ambitions with the company’s goals and show readiness for more responsibility.
No 9. The Money Conversation
Negotiate with confidence.
Overcome fear and stigma to ask for fair compensation and benefits.
No 10. The Resigning Conversation
Leave on a high note.
Wilding reminds us that “how you depart is how you’ll be remembered.” Preserve your relationships and reputation for future success.
Emotional Intelligence Is Your Edge
Wilding’s approach blends emotional intelligence, persuasion, and influence.
She teaches professionals how to balance empathy with assertiveness; a critical skill in today’s workplace where adaptability, clarity, and communication define success.
By mastering these conversations, you don’t just make your boss’s job easier; you make yourself indispensable.
Final Thought
As Wilding puts it:
“You deserve better than just getting by at work. You deserve to feel confident, valued, and strong when interacting with those above you.” Managing up is not about power; it’s about partnership.
And when you learn to manage that relationship with clarity and confidence, you’ll unlock one of the most underrated secrets of career success.
