Stop asking how are you? Here is what the research has to say about it

Stop asking ”how are you’. These are 3 most useless words and they do not add any value in a connection. It’s because the person why asks this question really is least interested in knowing an answer unless it is a very close connection and the answer to the question is usually not true. If you are sick, you won’t say, no, I am not good, why do you ask?.

According to the Harvard researchers, the key to making a most out of small talks is to ask follow-up questions. After analyzing 300 online conversations, scientists say, the person is more likable if they don’t ask questions like ‘how are you’, ‘what do you do’.

“When people are instructed to ask more questions, they are perceived as higher in responsiveness, an interpersonal construct that captures listening, understanding, validation and care,”

So the question is, how to initiate a conversation?

The key to making a meaningful conversation is to get to the point straight away. Stating the purpose of conversation, gently beginning with a soft tone and building up the talk makes you likable and makes you an interesting person instead of a boring person.

It’s about beginning with a good story, showing you are compassionate and thoughtful when you ask questions in a conversation adds an instant connection.

Research also says that by adding words in your conversation such as “I’m grateful.” instantly creates a positive impact on the opposite person. People pay attention to your expression of gratitude. According to a study from the American Psychological Association, saying “I’m grateful” can attract positive experiences in a conversation.

Building a connection in a conversation, engaging in a meaning discussion is one of the positive signs of someone who is liked by the people.