Have you ever wondered why some people are in a relationship, but still lonely?
Have you ever wondered why some people find it hard to get along with others?
They tend to get more into verbal fights, have trouble handling their relationships, and making new friends.
While, on the other hand, some people are exceptionally good at getting along with people.
No matter who they meet, they manage to create a sense of trust, understanding, and great bonding within a few minutes after their first meeting.
They have a knack for connecting with others.
So would you like to know the secret too, to get along with people?
Building rapport is the tool to connect with people
FYI, building rapport is an essential tool when it comes to developing a relationship with people. Whether, you are being interviewed for a job, selling a product/service or working on improving your relationship with someone.
What is Rapport?
According to Wikipedia, “Rapport is a close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned are “in sync” with each other, understand each other’s feelings or ideas, and communicate smoothly.”
It’s Rapport that brings people close together, form the basis of a meaningful and healthy relationship between people.
Whenever you meet someone for the first time, the first step is to build a rapport with them.
When you develop a rapport with people— they feel comfortable to open up to you— express their feelings freely and trust you.
Rapport is synonymous to trust.
Have you ever wondered why you click with some people instantly? It’s due to the rapport—a sense of connection you get, you feel you can trust them, as they share your values and perspective on life.
When you build rapport with people you will automatically get along with them. You will start enjoying their company and will grow tremendously.
When you learn to develop a rapport with people, the doors of SUCCESS open for you.
You will be in a position to influence people. They will accept your ideas, trust your information and will mutually create opportunities.
Tips on building rapport with people
The following are a few tips that can help you build rapport with people, but you must remember building rapport is a two-way bonding; you can’t build it alone by yourself. However, you can stimulate it using the following tips.
Accept people for who they are
Now the first thing you need to do in other to get along with people is to accept them as they are. Don’t try to change them, criticize them, or worse force your opinion on them.
Let’s face it we all want to be accepted for who we are, none of us want to change ourselves according to someone’s opinion.
Feeling of acceptance is synonymous to being treated with respect.
The more the person feels accepted for who he/she is, the more the person feels respected and tend to open up.
Connect on mutual grounds
Identifying mutual ground can help build a better relationship with people. Try to find out what interests other people. Talk about topics that interest both of you, and avoid talking about something that you both may have a difference of opinion on; else you might end up having a conflict.
Avoid negative talk
If you are not sure about what to talk about, you can always choose lighter topics such as weather and current affairs. But don’t talk negatively about people, or complain about issues in life, it will instantly put off another person. They will feel the negative vibes coming from you and this will create a negative impact about you.
Show Genuine interest
Most of the people like talking about themselves. The more you show genuine interest in them the more they feel important. The more they feel important, the more they relax in your company and want to open up to you.
Show genuine interest in their problems; share your own similar experiences, show empathy and support. When people feel you are interested in what they have to say, they feel touched and are drawn closer to you.
Call people using their first name
Always try to remember people’s name and make a point to call them using their first name.
According to an American writer, Dale Carnegie,
“A person’s name is to him or the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
When you remember people’s name, you make them feel wanted, you actually tell them that they were important enough to be remembered, and they were special enough for you to take note of. When you make people feel wanted, it almost guarantees the basis of a meaningful relationship with them.
Smile more often. Greet people with a smile. Shake hands with a smile. This will make them feel the positive vibes coming from you. The tiny gesture such as giving passers-by a smile makes people feel more connected. Remember, smiling is equivalent to caring, too.
According to the scientist, Andrew Newberg, “The smile is the symbol that was rated with the highest positive emotional content.”
Dress a little better
How you dress speaks volume about you as a person. Yes, people judge you by the way you dress up. The way you dress shouldn’t serve as a barrier between you and people. Dressing a bit better than people you are surrounded by will create a lasting impression.
The clothes you wear, the way you carry or present yourself will change the way other people hear what you say. The way you dress make it easy for them to decide whether they should listen to you or ignore, trust you or distrust you. After all, how can you trust someone who doesn’t know how to dress appropriately or appear in rather shabby clothes?
Imagine a person wearing a faded jeans and sweatshirt on a job interview; do you imagine he will get a job even though he meets all the job requirements?
Be a good listener
Be emphatic, when people share their problems with you, try to be a good listener, appear curious, offer support and really try to see things from their perspective. When you allow them space to talk and recognize their emotions, chances are, you will develop a bond with them. If you ever happen to visit a behavioral psychologist, you will notice, they implement the same strategy that’s why people feel comfortable opening up to them.
You don’t just have to be a good listener, but also, come up with intelligent solutions to the person’s problems, so if you have what it takes to be a good listener, you have more chances to build rapport with people.
Mirror and match
There’s a research that actually supports the argument that we get along with people who appear to be just like us. Mirroring and matching is one of the most effective techniques, which are used in building rapport with people.
You observe the person, take account of his actions, and try to make yourself more like the other person.
- Adopt the person’s body language, everything from his posture, facial expressions, and gesture.
- Adopt the same behavior, if a person is introvert, and is not comfortable opening up all of a sudden, you should be introvert, too. Similarly, if a person is extrovert, and like sharing ideas, you should be, too. This is an extremely helpful tip which helps people connect faster.
- Adopt the same language the other person is using, if he/she is more inclined towards using simple language, don’t try to impress upon them using literary language, you should adopt their language and their tone.
- You should also take note of a person’s temperament, tone, and volume.
This technique requires great observation and the ability to imitate the person’s behavior fully. It’s the most subtle yet most effective technique used to build up a rapport with people.
In order to survive in the world, and to enjoy healthy, fruitful relationships with people, we must learn the art to develop rapport with people.
About The Author
Saima Masood is a passionate writer, blogger, daydreamer + coffee lover. Her life revolves around two things —food and writing. She, currently blogs at LivingShe a blog, that’s specifically dedicated to WOMEN. She loves writing on topics related to relationship, parenting, personal development or anything that takes her fancy. Humor is her middle name. Food is one that can instantly turn her on. You can also follow her at Facebook https://www.facebook.com/saima.masood.71 or https://www.facebook.com/livingshe/